Football Explained

A guy took his girlfriend to her first football game. They had great seats right behind their team’s bench. After the game, he asked her how she liked it.

“Oh, I really liked it,” she replied, “especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I just couldn’t understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents.”

Dumbfounded, her boyfriend asked, “What do you mean?”

“Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it and then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was… ‘Get the quarterback! Get the quarterback!’

I’m like…Helloooooo? It’s only 25 cents!!!!”

For the Lols.

A woman in a hot air balloon realizes she is lost. She lowers her 
altitude and spots a man fishing from a boat below. She shouts to 
him, “Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet 
him an hour ago, but I don’t know where I am.”


The man consults his portable GPS and replies,
”You’re in a hot air balloon, approximately 30 feet
above a ground elevation of 2346 feet above sea level. You are at
 31 degrees, 14.97 minutes north latitude and 100 degrees, 49.09
 minutes west longitude.


She rolls her eyes and says, “You must be a Republican!”


”I am,” replies the man. “How did you know?”


“Well,” answers the balloonist, “everything you tell me is 
technically correct, but I have no idea what 
to do with your information, and I’m still lost.
Frankly, you’re not much help to me.”


The man smiles and responds, “You must be a Democrat.”


“I am,” replies the balloonist. “How did you know?”


“Well,” says the man, “You don’t know where you are or where
 you’re going. You’ve risen to where you are, due to a large
 quantity of hot air. You made a promise that you have no idea how
 to keep, and now you expect me to solve your problem. You’re in
 exactly the same position you were in before we met , but,
somehow, now it’s my fault.”